We're Adopting...

We are excited to announce that we’re adopting!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” Declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.” Jeremiah 29:11 This verse has rug true for Chad and me many times on our journey, and I know it will continue to as we head down the adoption path.  As many of you know Chad and I started trying for a family over 2 years ago. Like most people we planned, dreamed, and knew we would be pregnant instantly. After all isn’t that how it happens for everyone? Well, not for us. After a year of trying on our own we consulted with a fertility specialist and they declared, “You have unexplained infertility, there is nothing wrong with you!” Yeah for us! We took our diagnoses and ran with it. We thought, we’re fine, it will happen, we just need to relax. Another year later, and still no baby caused us to head back the fertility clinic for a more drastic approach.  We decided to try IUI. Basically, after pills, injections, and other fun things you probably don’t want to know about, my follicles (the cave the eggs are in) are supposed to be plump and ready to produce beautiful eggs and in turn beautiful babies.  After a text book IUI, and lots of prayers for twins, we got the devastating news that it didn’t work. The amazing part was, I didn’t cry, I didn’t throw things, I was at peace and so was Chad. That night we sat on the couch and discussed our options. We both felt we needed to move forward with adoption. We felt God was calling us in this direction, and it was our job to listen. However, the next morning, I woke up and got that feeling. The feeling you get when you want to do things your way, and I told Chad I wanted to try one more time. I felt I needed it for my sanity. Well, long story short, we tried, it was text book again, and we failed. Once again God blessed us both with a kind of peace that we would not have had if it wasn’t by His grace. That next day we dove headfirst into the world of adoption and haven’t looked back since!

God was tugging on our hearts all along! We started the process of domestic adoption back in November of 2010, before we started fertility. We decided on an agency, Bethany Christian Services, after hearing wonderful things about the program through many who had previously adopted.  We filled out the preliminary application and sent it off. We were quickly approved to receive the formal application. This included a lengthy online application, and after submitting that you sent in a fee and they sent you a mound of paperwork to complete. At this time we decided to put the adoption on hold and try fertility. After our 3 month hiatus, we got back on the horse and dug into the paperwork. On April 20, 2011 we submitted our formal application, on April 29, 2011 we went to our training day in Columbia, then we had 3 home studies in May and June, and on June 29, 2011 at 9:30 a.m. we got the call that we were APPROVED! This means we are officially waiting for a baby! This means we could get a call in a week or in 2 years. You never know. It’s all in God’s timing.

It’s hard to explain, the joy Chad and I are currently experiencing. We’re not pregnant. We don’t know when our family will turn from a family of 2 to a family of 3, but someone out there is pregnant, and she is confused and scared, and we are praying for her to be our miracle. Someone out there is going to make a choice that makes her our hero. She is going to choose adoption over abortion. She is going to choose life. She is going to choose us to receive her miracle, and she is going to give us the most perfect gift someone could offer.

Adoption started as a solution to our problem and ended as an answer to our prayers. It has been a long and bumpy road getting here, but I know God’s got our back, and we will be just fine!

Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone
but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute
You did not grow under my heart
but in it.

by
Fleur Conkling Heyliger

Stay tuned…

Special in God's eyes...

I always believed I was special, meaning: better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.   I really thought someday I would invent something really cool, be discovered for something while walking through the mall or discover some sort of hidden talent. It’s okay to let out a big belly laugh right nowJ Basically, I thought it was in the cards for me to become rich and famous. This is true. I really thought someday something would fall into my lap that would cause me to be able to coast through life. It’s kind of funny I felt this way because generally I am a shy person who needs a little persuading to get moving. I am NOT athletic, although I have always tried to be. I’m NOT theatrical; however, I was the lead in my senior play…we can all laugh about that! I am not a leader, or one who stands up to declare their opinions and who needs control over situations.  I need time to process and think through something before giving my opinion or thoughts on a topic. I get nervous when doing ANYTHING, especially when I feel like I am going to fail. I tend to be the kind of person who looks up the word gullible in the dictionary to see if my picture really is there. Don’t all of these attributes make you think…of course she was destine to be famous!!! I mean really, what was I thinking? However, as I mature and grow I think I have finally discovered my “specialness”. I am a writer!  I am good at it. I wake up thinking about it. I enjoy it. Now, am I going to be the next Shakespeare, Dickens or Twain? Not so much! However, I will write for an audience and hope to appeal to that audience, whoever that audience may beJ I’ve come to realize God blessed me with the talent He wanted me to have, the one he knew I could best use for His good. I teach children to write and hope to inspire them to have the same love for writing I have. I write in this blog, which I can only hope helps someone with the struggles they may be dealing with that parallel mine. I write because God gave me the ability to use words in a way that glorify Him.

Thank you God for making me so very special in your eyes!

Strengthening my faith muscle...

I am a results person. When I start to see results I will follow through. That is why working out is so hard for me. It takes more than a day to see results, and I have a VERY short attention span. This is true of many things in my life. I have started many ‘projects’, but if I’m not good at them right away or if I don’t see immediate results I give up and move on.

I have learned that my short attention span and willingness to give up easily also trickled down into parts of my life that were much more important than working out and learning to sew. I have always believed in God. There has never been a time when I doubted his existence or wondered who else or what else was out there. I am one of the lucky ones. I was born believing God was my one and only Savior. However, I was not born trusting in his plan. I was also not born having the initiative to attempt to follow his plan. In the beginning I thought if you prayed your prayers would be answered and life would be good. We are taught God is a good and loving God, so of course he would want what is best for me, therefore, he will of course answer my prayers. After all, I know what is best for me. This was my thought process for many, many, many years.  It took me awhile, but eventually I learned that is not the way it works. Having faith in God, trusting in God and knowing he has a plan for your life takes time and energy and patience and follow through…all things I struggle with. You have to wait for the results. You have to try. You have to actually put time and effort into it. You have to strengthen your faith muscle.

·         One of the many definitions of faith is: a firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust. Like I said before, I need to SEE results. If I don’t there is no follow through coming from me! For many years I would pray flippantly. I would pray one time for something, expect it to happen and when it didn’t I would feel like God was punishing me. Then I would give up and move on to wanting something else. In hindsight, I have learned God loves me so much he ignored my requests because he didn’t want to hurt me. He knew what the final result would be and knew my solution to the problem was not the solution that was best for me. I think back to the relationships I prayed would work out, the jobs I had to have, the things I needed to do, the fights I had to win…..THANK YOU GOD for not answering those prayers. It has taken what feels like a lifetime, but God is finally getting through to my stubborn Italian self. This morning I read this and it opened my eyes, "For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

About a month ago, I had the honor of attending Barney Reeve’s wake and service. He was a member of our church and is the father of one of our beloved pastors. Although, I only had the honor of getting to know him for a short time, in that time I was able to learn so much about what it means to have faith. Barney was driven by his faith. Barney was a student of faith. Barney loved his God and God loved Barney. When I found out the horrible news of his passing I was overcome with the strangest feeling. I cried, not with tears of sadness or anger, but with tears of joy. I KNEW where Barney was and I was overcome with happiness, excitement and peace. Barney’s faith muscle was one of the strongest of anyone I have ever had the privilege of knowing. He lived his life for God. He made me realize how important it is to keep up with your faith muscle.

·        

·         Having faith is HARD. Believing in God’s plan and not your own is DIFFICULT. Handing over your life to someone you have never met and can only read about in a book that you assume is real, is CHALLENGING. Praying and knowing your prayers might not be answered, is MADDENING. But, so was Jesus dying on the cross for my sins. That was hard, difficult, challenging, maddening to say the least. However, I am so grateful that He did and that His faith muscle was strong enough that He believed going through the agony He was forced to endure was worth it, for ME!

It took me a long time, but I am finally seeing results. God has blessed me with so much more than I deserve. I trust in his beautiful plan for my life. This faith muscle of mine is strong, but I realize I could lose it at any time, and that if I don’t keep working it out I will go back to my weak self. I have a long road ahead of me, but it sure is worth it, for I have seen the results!

Isabel...

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. " ~Roger Caras

Isabel Martinelli Thompson (My maiden name is Martinelli) was a feisty, white, toy poodle. She had bad breath, a bad attitude and she limped on all four of her legs. Yes, that is possible! She was old. She was set in her ways. She drained our savings in vet bills. But, she was the peanut butter to our jelly, the mustard to our ketchup, the bacon to our eggs, the bread to our butter..well you get the point. We were a perfect, happy little family.

Isabel started off as my childhood dog. She was with me through my high school years, my college years and the first few years of my marriage. Although Isabel was a family dog growing up, she turned into a foster child in her older years. My mother and father, who I love dearly and are the BEST parents a girl could ask for, were not the best geriatric doggie patient parents.  They didn't have the 'love' for Isabel that I did. I mean who wouldn't love bad breath? When I was just out of college I BEGGED for Isabel to come live with me. My pleading was denied and instead she was moved around from family member to family member. When Chad and I got married and moved to Connecticut I was finally deemed worthy of taking care of Isabel, so we stepped up and adopted her. She lived with us in Connecticut for a year and then moved with us to South Carolina. We always joked that we had to move because Isabel couldn't handle the cold Connecticut weather anymore, and she needed a retirement home.

Isabel loved to sleep. She loved the part of her back right above her tail scratched. She was given the nickname White Lightning from her spontaneous bursts of energy that would appear out of nowhere. She would dash around the backyard like a madwoman. Keep in mind she was so old she needed one of those doggie walkers you see animals with amputations using. She pretty much had to be carried everywhere. Most importantly though, she loved to eat. This dog would eat anything. One year there was a package of coffee under the Christmas tree. Isabel found it. Isabel ate it. Isabel was wired for days. Chocolate is supposed to kill dogs. Well not Isabel! Once she got into the suitcase of a visitor and devoured an entire box of Godiva chocolates. It never fazed her. Isabel also loved the trashcan. If one was left unattended she would find it and devour whatever was in it. She even learned how to open cabinets, while standing on her two bad legs and maneuvering the door with one of her arthritis filled paws. She was crafty! She was disgusting! However, we LOVED this dog. To us her 'ways' made her even more lovable. She was an 'old soul'. She was as human as a dog can be. She was our first child.

March 2nd, two years ago, Chad and I lost a best friend and a soul mate. When she passed we took it hard. She was a member of our family, and to think of life without her was not something we wanted to deal with. Today, her picture is posted everywhere. She is my screen saver and has a special spot on the end table near the couch. Chad and I reminisce about her often.  We have the giggles all the time when telling Isabel stories.

I truly believe God gave her to us for a reason. The first years of marriage are hard. Moving states is hard. Jobs are hard. We needed her to have something to focus on. We needed her to have someone to show us what true love looks like.  We needed her to learn how to take care of someone other than ourselves. We needed her to show us how to laugh at situations you cannot control. We needed her to learn how to deal with loss. We needed her for more reasons than I can comprehend.

Isabel, we miss you, we love you and we will forever be grateful for you.

Suffering well...

Where do I even begin?  For the past two years Chad and I (well mostly me) have NOT been suffering well. We have been struggling with unexplained infertility. What does that mean? Well, it means you have been trying to have a baby for more than a year and you were probed and prodded by the fertility clinic doctors, they discovered you and your husband are in PERFECT working order and there is NO reason why you are not able to get pregnant. 

Struggling barely defines what Chad and I have been through for the past 2 years. We have been confused, disappointed, angry, lonely, jealous and in utter disbelief. Basically, we have been suffering. Every day we deal with the questions: Why is this happening to us? What is wrong with us? Will we ever be able to have a child of our own? What is God’s plan for our family?

Over the past few months things have changed. I have started to find a peace with my situation. Then this past Sunday God sent me the burning bush I have been looking out for. I tend to be one of those people who prayers fervently, but then forgets to listen closely for the answer God has to my prayers. I hear him in hindsight.  I miss the boat…all the time! Our pastor was preaching out of Acts 14 and talking about how when you sign up for the Christian life you sign up to suffer. Doesn’t that just make you want to sign on the dotted line? He spoke about how everyone suffers, but if you have God there holding your hand, suffering suddenly becomes a lot more bearable, and sometimes you will even rejoice in your suffering.  He spoke about Paul and Barnabas and their mission. Each place they visited they suffered, and each encounter with suffering was worse than the last. Who would want to do that? Who would choose to suffer? Acts 14:22 says, “Strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.” I suddenly realized that lately I have been rejoicing in my suffering. I have been suffering well. (Keep in mind Chad has been suffering well for awhile..I'm just a slow learner!) I can’t even believe I am saying this, but I am so thankful, down on my knees thankful, for my unexplained infertility. Because of it God has been able to work in my life. He has opened my eyes. I now KNOW Him. I now pray to him. I now trust him.  I LOVE my home group and bible studies. My favorite book is now the Bible. I feel at peace…with everything. I sleep at night. I don’t worry nearly as much as I used to. I am more confident. I love people more. I gossip less. I understand. Now of course I am only human and sin consumes me, so I do not do these things every second of every day, but I do them a lot more than I used to. The list above used to be a near impossible goal for me. Now it is a routine part of my life, or at least I try to make itJ

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” Declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I have hope. I believe in miracles. I trust in God’s perfect plan. I am suffering well!

Just like her mother...

People always say you end up looking like your dog. Well not only do I tend to resemble my dog Daisy May (especially when she hasn't been groomed in awhile and she goes by the nickname Shags), but I act like her too...or should I say she acts like me? I mean you tend to eventually find yourself saying, "I am just like my mother!" I think someday Daisy is going to have that realization too!

She is impatient! She always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and struggles with worry. When we put her outside she will quickly run to do her business and then make a mad dash back to the door. She puts her paws up on the edge of the door and peers in looking and begging for someone to let her in. She is so worried she is going to miss out on what is going on inside the house that she CAN NOT relax and enjoy the beautiful outdoors with her buddy Drake.

Sounds familiar to me!

She demands attention and loves to be pampered. Daisy will typically come up to you when you are sitting on the couch and shove her way into your business. She wants herself to be known. She will walk right up to you, lick you on a part of your face you do not want licked and then flip over and demand a belly rub. She doesn't care if you are busy having a conversation, if you are busy working on the computer or if you are drinking your morning coffee. She wants what she wants when she wants it. She is a princess!

Sounds even more familiar to me!

She loves her daddy! She is always all over him. She loves to kiss him, lay on him and follow him around. When he is gone she will position herself in a place where she can see and hear all possible clues of her daddy coming home. She can't stand being in the house without him. She will then wait and wait and wait until she hears his car pulling into the driveway. When he has to leave for a work trip she pouts. She is just not herself without him.  She sleeps right next to him at night. Sometimes I will wake up in the middle of the night and find her sleeping on top of his pillow right above his head. Most mornings Chad will wake up and say, "Daisy was all over me last night. She almost pushed my off the bed." She simply can't get enough of him!
Sounds familiar!

She is very cold natured and loves to sit by the fire. The fire could be blazing and you will still find Daisy right up against it, relaxing and enjoying its warmth.
Sounds familiar!

I guess the poor things is doomed to be just like her mother!

Follow through...

So here we go again. Today is February 18th, 2011 and I am just now posting my second (!!!) post. So typical! I think I have discovered I have a problem with commitments...
I want to at least get in the habit of posting a daily Beautiful Blessing. I can only hope this will help me limit my time on facebook and the Internet poking around on websites that only further my issues with hypochondria.

Beautiful Blessing Day 1

A day off!

I LOVE my job for many reasons. I love my co-workers, I love the atmosphere at my school, I love teaching, I love that I love my job, I love my precious, curious, energetic, 5 and 6 year old students. I love their hugs, their crazy amounts of energy, their fun perceptions about the world, and the fact that they tire me out in a way I did not know I could tire out. Hence my Beautiful Blessing of the day! I am exhausted and can't fathom having to actually work today. I'm not sure if it's a mindset, just KNOWING I had the day off made me tired, or if God just knew that all of us teachers needed a few days off in February, so he made sure we would have two wonderful and interesting presidents that were both born in February so that holiday happy Americans could someday celebrate their legacy with a few days off . I'm betting on the God theory!Today I will sip my tea for as long as I please, not shower on any time schedule, go to Kohl's to save 30% on anything I please and go out to dinner with my amazing brother and his girlfriend. Life is perfect!
Wishing you a blessed and perfect day too!
Corrisa